Busy mother, author, blogger Diane Carbonell has maintained a 158 pound loss for over a decade! (71.8 kg)
Her story, lessons learned, and advice for you in this interview.
“Never go back.”
Weight Gain Background and Contributing Factors
Diane’s weight gain began when she got married. She recalls gaining approximately 40 to 50 pounds (18 – 22.7 kg) in the first three years.
Looking back, Diane shares that she was fairly active growing up and during college, but after getting married and taking on a full time job, she no longer had as much free time and took on a more sedentary lifestyle.
She didn’t know how to cook at the time, so she and her husband frequently went out to eat.
“I started enjoying extra desserts and snacks late at night, things that I really hadn’t done a lot of previously.”
To compound the weight gain, Diane gained 70 pounds (31.8 kg) while pregnant with their first child, and didn’t lose it afterwards.
“I really thought… the weight will just come off. You see friends that get pregnant and have children, and they just kind of go back to their pre-pregnancy weight. Of course, now, looking back, I realize those people work at that.”
A second and third child added to Diane’s frame, and she found herself at 305 pounds. (138.6 kg)
How Being Overweight Impacted Diane’s Life
Diane constantly felt tired. She describes how she didn’t even want to walk to the mailbox because it seemed so far away.
As her children grew up, she was unable to participate in field trips and school excursions because she wouldn’t have the energy to interact.
The effects were also emotional:
“I became much more withdrawn. I was one to kind of stand in the back of the room and hope that nobody noticed me standing there… I often felt like my friends were doing me a favor when they included me in things that they did.”
Much of Diane’s true turmoil was, unfortunately, internalized and unknown to those around her. She shares how, years later, her husband read some of her blog entries and remarked that he never knew “how being three hundred pounds made [her] feel on the inside.”
Insecurity was also a struggle, as Diane shares that she often felt judged by others. She would try to hide in groups of people, and even avoided going clothes shopping with friends.
Diane had tried Weight Watchers, and says of her unsuccessful weight loss attempts on it: “It was a great program… except for that I wasn’t ready.” She also tried Jenny Craig, church programs, and others, but always without success.
“I never embraced the lifestyle change part of it. It was always like a temporary thing, like I’m going to do good this week, and then it would be somebody’s birthday… or stress… and I’ll just start again some other time.”
Diane opens up about the self-doubt that plagued her and sabotaged her efforts. Before she lost the weight, she never truly believed it was possible, and she had not acknowledged her emotional attachment to food.
“I didn’t even realize how much of my eating was tied to emotional stress or emotional upset or difficulty in my life. I think until I was ready to do two things: 1) believe I could do it, and 2) to realize that emotional component was really a vital part of what made me overweight to begin with… Until I was ready for both of those things, I wasn’t ready to lose the weight.”
The Turning Point
Diane recalls a moment, standing on her doctor’s scale after the birth of her third child, and watching the scale climb up to – and past – the 300 pound mark.
“I thought, ‘What am I going to do with myself? Because I can’t go on like this…’ I thought, am I going to be 350 pounds? What’s to stop me from reaching 400 pounds? Where does it end?“
Diane knew, from her time with Weight Watchers and all the books she’d read, that she had the basic knowledge of how to lose weight. She spent some time formulating a plan, and ensured that it contained a critical piece:
“That moment of realization that, however I was going to lose weight, was also how I was going to live after I lost weight… That day in March of 1997… it was just a totally different thought process than I’d ever thought about weight loss before… I totally shifted my life right then.”
Diane had realized that she had to commit for the long-term, not just for the duration of a “diet” or “program.”
Starting The Weight Loss Journey
Diane went through the contents of her pantry and discarded everything she knew was tempting and wasn’t good for her.
She began cutting down her meals to about a third the amount she had been eating before.
Diane had never exercised before this point. She didn’t own a pair of shoes for exercise and had never been to a gym before. Because of her schedule and parenting responsibilities, the gym was not an option at this point either. This didn’t mean she had an excuse:
“To moms out there that are like, ‘I can’t do it,’ well, you can do it. I did it with three little kids. I put on my shoes and a little dress, and I just walked for ten minutes.”
Diane went out and walked before anyone else was awake, and finished before her husband left for work every morning. She started with ten minutes and increased it over time. These days, she walks three miles six days a week.
She wasn’t a morning person, and admits it was a difficult transition for the first few weeks. She forced herself to wake up and exercise, and felt hungry while adapting to smaller portions, but quickly began to see and feel a change in herself:
“I felt in control of my food choices for the first time in my life. It was kind of empowering, that whole first month.”
Challenges and Staying Motivated
It quickly became apparent that day-to-day living, with its holidays and birthday parties, would be an endless parade of “special events” in life. If Diane kept waiting for the “right time” to make changes and stick to them, the day would never come.
Another challenge was remaining disciplined when children would ask for snacks and treats that were no longer part of Diane’s lifestyle.
How did she handle these?
Diane developed a personal rating system, from 1-10, with 10 being the most desirable food, and the only one she would consider. If she found herself faced with a #10 food, she asked herself if she really wanted it and whether she was hungry enough to eat something else in its place.
“Nine times out of ten, I just said No, Thank You.”
When she did indulge, she kept the portion sizes extremely small, knowing that the first few bites were the most personally rewarding to her. She had a smaller amount, enough to feel satisfied, and felt in control by choosing to stop then.
“Once I had some success with that, the next birthday party became easier. Nothing bad happened when I said No… The cake will always be there at the next birthday… I felt empowered to know I made a decision that was good for me.”
Diane shares that she began to feel a growing confidence in herself as she more frequently said No to unhealthy choices.
Plateaus
Weight-loss plateaus were challenging for Diane. In past attempts, she had quit when faced with a plateau, but this time was different.
This time, she took inventory of how well she had been sticking to her plan: Had she been eating right? Had she been diligent about her portion sizes?
When she was completely honest with herself and the answers were Yes, she would keep doing what had already worked so far. Soon enough, the weight loss resumed.
What Diane Learned About Food, Exercise, and Herself
In hindsight, Diane admits to discovering that much of her eating was out of boredom. If the children were occupied or sleeping, she’d look in the pantry. During the first month of her new lifestyle, she still found herself getting up and going to the pantry even when she wasn’t hungry.
She began to learn that she had been responding to triggers like boredom and stress – by turning to food.
Having a supportive partner was also a great help. Diane shares how her husband believed in her eventual weight loss success even before she did, and was supportive and encouraging – without judgment – for years while she unsuccessfully tried to lose the weight.
Diane’s Advice For Your Journey
The very first thing Diane recommends is having an honest conversation with yourself to determine three things:
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Do you really believe you can do this?
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Are you ready? Are you committed? Are you tired of carrying around this extra weight?
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What do you need to change today to make that happen?
Find the diet that works for you. The lifestyle you choose needs to be sustainable for the long-term.
Get started now! Don’t wait for the perfect circumstances to come; they never will.
Never give up on yourself!
Resources Discussed In This Podcast
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My Fitness Pal – online calorie tracking and support community
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SparkPeople – weight loss support community
Contacting Diane
Diane blogs at FitToTheFinish.com and can also be found online at the following pages:
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Like FitToTheFinish on Facebook
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@FitToTheFinish on Twitter
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