Carley used to feel she wasn’t “good enough” for people’s attention, and mostly kept to herself.
Now over 100 pounds lighter, hear how she changed her mindset and changed her life.
“Just when the caterpillar thought life was over, it became a butterfly.”
Weight Gain Background and Contributing Factors
Carley grew up in a single-parent household where her mother was always working hard. She ate fast food daily, didn’t have siblings, and there weren’t neighborhood kids her age to play with.
As a result, Carley spent a lot of time alone and soon found herself heavier than other children in the 4th grade.
Carley reached a peak weight of about 285 pounds (129.5 kg) and was approximately a size 20-22 in women’s pants and dresses.
How Being Overweight Impacted Carley’s Life
Carley shares how, despite her outgoing nature, she felt uncomfortable at school and in public.
“I didn’t want to put myself in positions to be made fun of or called out… I already had this shell that drew attention to me, and I just didn’t want anything else… I didn’t want to have that feeling of ‘Do they not like me?’ or ‘I’m not good enough.’ “
She felt safe around family and long-time church acquaintances, but was very reserved everywhere else. As much as she wanted to participate in school events and clubs like cheerleading, she avoided the spotlight so as not to face people’s attention.
Carley also shares how she felt like she had to offer more to people in order to deserve their friendship or attention. She made sure she had gum, or new clothes, or other things to divert negative attention.
“It didn’t feel good to do that. It wasn’t a good and empowering feeling that then made you want to make better choices for yourself. To feel like, ‘Oh, I have to do something extra, because if I don’t – I’m not good enough.’ “
Family members with good intentions also presented an issue for Carley when they tried to suggest weight loss programs.
“I feel like they had good intentions… but what it felt like was, them saying that I’m not good enough just the way I am. It was all about weight loss, and not about health.”
Carley shares some advice for family members and loved ones of the obese. Instead of suggesting diets, programs, or changes that person “should” make, perhaps the friend should reflect on what message and example their own health & lifestyle choices are conveying.
“I don’t know any little kid who doesn’t want to be like their mom or like their dad. They are always mimicking what their parents are doing… If you’re concerned for your kid’s future and their health, and you see them gaining weight – what are you doing? What changes can you make to help them make better decisions and choices?”
The Turning Point
The reality of Carley’s weight and size sunk in during a shopping trip with her mother.
A size 20 didn’t fit, and while Carley waited on her mother to retrieve a larger size, she had a quiet moment to really look at herself in the mirror and consider what this increase in clothing size represented to her.
“Wait a minute. What am I doing? It just dawned on me what size I had allowed myself to get to… What are you doing? I have to make some changes here; otherwise, the life that I desire to live is not going to happen.”
Starting The Weight Loss Journey
Carley started by giving up sugar and carbohydrates for 40 days. She had been exposed to the low-carb lifestyle before and felt she wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the change.
“I just had to do what I felt I could wrap my mind around at the time.”
Carley felt the difference and people started noticing. However, Carley didn’t feel comfortable sharing her changes yet:
“I felt like this was my baby and I had to protect it. There is this thing where, if people know you’re doing something, it’s like they’re watching you – just waiting for you to mess up.”
She felt a strong commitment to herself, and only shared the new changes with her mother at the time.
After the 40 days, Carley added walking into her routine. She would make the 1.5 mile journey across hilly terrain to her grandmother’s house and arrive drenched in sweat. Her grandmother would then drive her home.
Once she became accustomed to the walk, she doubled the distance by walking back home as well,
The next phase was working with a personal trainer, where she learned new things about food, nutrition, and the concept of “fueling” her body.
She shares how difficult it was to re-introduce carbohydrates into her diet after having had success with low-carb approaches in the past. The key for Carley was trusting in a trainer who “walked the walk” and was a good role-model for health.
What Carley Learned About Food, Exercise, and Herself
Carley has learned how much of an effect hormones can have on the body – for better or worse.
“What’s happening in your body that it’s not running properly?”
Carley loves to walk outside when possible. In the winter, she uses an indoor rebounder.
She lifts weights 2-3 times a week with heavy weights and a focus on movements that use multiple muscle groups.
Her diet is focused on whole food: vegetables, potatoes, fruits. She avoids grains, gluten, and keeps dairy to a minimum. She has three meals and a snack daily.
“The difference in how I feel is tremendous, but if you would’ve told me when I was that person ten years ago that I’d be eating lots of vegetables and juicing, I would have been like, ‘You are crazy. I would never do that. Ever.’ “
A typical dinner consists of lean protein like beef or chicken, and a vegetable like brussel sprouts.
“I still have dessert sometimes… I do. That’s a part of a healthy lifestyle. I think it’s about making good and healthy choices the majority of the time. When you do that, it helps and encourages you to make more good choices every day.”
Carley lost 125 pounds (56.8 kg), but discovered she had been pushing a little too hard. She eased up and regained to a healthy point at around 110 pounds (50 kg) down from her peak weight.
She also opens up about a period of time where she was over-training due to unhealthy motivation. Fortunately, Carley was able to recommit for the right reasons, and has been very happy and healthy since.
Carley’s Advice For Your Journey
Even if you can’t imagine the you that lives & eats healthy, start with the belief that you can get there.
“Focus on being the best version of [you] that you can be every day. It’s possible… to be better, to get better, to get stronger, every day.”
If you have the desire inside you, make a decision and commit to it.
“Don’t give up, don’t give in. If you don’t quit, you have no choice but to eventually win.”
Resources Discussed In This Podcast
Carley shares that much of her journey has involved mindset change, and she recommends the following resources.
“For me, the trainings and audio about conditioning your mind have been way more impactful than anything I’ve learned about nutrition.”
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The Model Health Show podcast with Shawn Stevenson
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Create Your Greatest Life by Les Brown [ Amazon ]
On Carley’s Workout Playlist
Contacting Carley
Special Offer: Carley has generously offered to share free coffee & tea samples with Tips Of The Scale listeners who e-mail her here. Say Hello, and share your thoughts in the comments below!
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