I AM ____

Chances are, you’re not where you want to be yet with your health and fitness. You’re still a before picture and if you’re anything like me, even after you hit your initial goal of a certain weight or waist size, you’ll be focused on a new goal.

Are there any deleterious effects to this “never good enough” syndrome? What could it lead to?

According to the Mayo Clinic, about 35% of kids and teens that come in for a restrictive eating
problem have a history of having been overweight or obese. That is a staggering number that seem to be going straight from obese to eating disorder. Some organizations have noted this trend and called for organizations promoting weight loss to be more conscious of their messaging, particularly as it relates to weight bias and stigma as well as the moralization of eating.

Food isn’t evil and neither are you for being obese. There are definitely wrong reasons to take this journey and the most important after will be how you feel in your soul a year from now, not how big your waist is. And that’s why today I’m writing my power anthem.

This week, someone referred to me as barrel chested and it was one of my favorite compliments I’ve ever received.

My chest has always been a bit of a soft spot for me (C WUT I DID THUR). It’s the second worst area for me with loose skin and my bench press has always seemed to lag because it wasn’t carrying around a 440 pound frame like my legs were for years. Barrel chested feels good.

I’m not skinny. And I’m completely ok with that. In fact, I’m proud of it, because it’s exactly what I’ve always NOT wanted to be. There’s nothing wrong with skinny, just like there’s nothing wrong with barrel chested and if we’re getting right down to it, there’s nothing morally wrong with obesity.

I love the holy hell out of myself, imperfections and all. My lats have some loose sagging skin on the side. My triceps are too small. My right bicep is a little larger than my left. I have some loose skin on my inner thighs and sometimes I look at my calves and think they’re smaller than they should be based on all the leg work I do (2nd pun in this post, one more and I get a set of steak knives). My ass is too small and my waist is shaped funny making a tapered look a challenge.

I’m barrel chested. And I love myself for that. And if I wasn’t barrel chested, I’d love myself for that.

You aren’t a bad person for having a certain body style. You don’t need to be ashamed or embarrassed. It doesn’t define who you are. No one will be talking about your pants size at your eulogy. You will be known for your works and your contributions and chances are, none of those will have to do with your body fat percentage. They will publish your birth, your death and potentially your accomplishments. And even if they would, do you really want people to remember you for your abs?

Don’t make working out your greatest body of work. (Ok, I forced that one for the knives)

Now I’m not going to say that your health should be irrelevant. Clearly that’s not the case, but you have to be mindful to not tie your happiness and self worth to your body size because that is a recipe for disaster.

You’re beautiful just the way you are. If you’re going somewhere with this fitness journey, make it a place where you are capable of doing more and gaining mastery over yourself.

The most powerful words in the English language are “I am.” Whatever words you put after those two will define everything you have done, can do and will do. And no one can fill that in but you.