When Do I Get My Lightsaber?

“We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

One of my favorite quotes from Tips of the Scale came from Dana from episode 5 who shared this brilliant thought:

There’s no doubt that preparation can be one of the most valuable skills and talents you can learn along your weight loss journey. That could mean preparing healthy meals or a workout plan, but today, we’re going to be addressing how to prepare yourself mentally against the trials and tribulations that come with attempted fat loss using the Stoic principle of The Inner Citadel.

How the Baddest BAMF Built His

Teddy Roosevelt is one of the baddest bad asses who ever lived. But such was not always the case. I could prove this point with a story like the time he got shot on his way to deliver a speech and still delivered the speech and went to the hospital afterwards but I think I’ll just let this picture of the only rhino ever dumb enough to mess with him speak for itself.

Suffice it to say that TR was basically the 19th century Chuck Norris. But he was not always so. He was born frail and asthmatic. A sissy boy to say the least. His dad was disappointed in him and decided to challenge the boy. One day, he approached the sickly child and told him:

“Theodore you have the mind but you have not the body, and without the help of the body the mind cannot go as far as it should. I am giving you the tools, but it is up to you to make your body.”

Without missing a beat, he reportedly replied: “I will make my body!” And then using the gym his dad built him on the 2nd floor of their home, he went on to become a competitive boxer and rower at Harvard. I could spend a year just telling stories of his general hardcore-ness.

As is so often the case, the strongest are forced to deal with so much, including facing the death of his mother and his wife on the same day (Valentines day to boot). He went on to become the youngest elected New York Assembly member at 23 and the youngest president in U.S. History (42). Also, did I mention that he’s a bad ass? let me refresh your memory.

Teddy took what he learned in the gym with him to his struggles. He made his body and his mind. He built an Inner Citadel.

What’s an Inner Citadel?

Stoics believed that there are two types of things in the world:

• Things we can control, which Epictetus referred to as our Sphere of Choice or Internals.
• Things we cannot control, which Epictetus called Externals.

That being said, and this is self evident, but the less we focus on the things we cannot control, the more powerful we feel and we will find ourselves less beset by destructive emotion. I think it goes without saying that the ability to only focus on the things that we can control is easier said than done. If we had a magic wand, any of us would want this. But from traffic to the behavior of a significant other, we have all been stressed out over something we have absolutely no control over.

Our goal as Stoics is to learn to stop focusing on externals we cannot control like:

• The past
• Nature and natural disasters
• The thoughts and actions of others

We do this by creating an Inner Citadel. An Inner Citadel is a mind that has a continual awareness of the true self and the power of your mind to see the difference between perspective and reality. How do we build it?

Become a Jedi

I recently showed my kids the Star Wars movies. After they watched the three

movies that are real Star Wars movies, the conversation came up where they wanted to know how Darth Vader became Darth Vader and I was forced to show them the other three pieces of garbage they called Star Wars movies.

When Anakin becomes a teenager in the second film, he’s a My Chemical Romance loving emo whiny baby. Everything seems to set him off and he’s obsessed with Natalie Portman (I mean, I get it) and his mother and becoming the Chosen One and basically everything. He’s a tightly wound ball of conflicting passions which is a problem because Jedi are taught:

“There is no passion, only serenity.”
-Jedi Code

Conversely, their enemies the Sith have their own code:
“Through Passion, I gain Strength.”

The idea that we should abandon passions will not sit well with people. And anyone that knows me will tell you that I am a person given to passion, romantic reading and moments and zeal to the nth degree. But we must keep passions within the bounds of Stoicism inasmuch as it is possible. Why should you bother tempering your passions?

Because Jedis get a Lightsaber.

Really, is there any more reason you need?

We tend to focus our passions on externals and those are precisely the kind of passions we need to avoid. By placing our passion and zeal into things we cannot control, we allow others to have control over us and more importantly, we set ourselves up for failure. In a health journey, this destructive form of passion can take many forms including:

• Basing our perception of success or failure on the number on the scale instead of on our actions.
• Comparing our progress to others who have been training longer or are younger or different genetically.
• Losing weight for the wrong reasons, namely others– losing weight will not make someone love you or cure all (thought it has improved everything within my Sphere of Choice).

Epictetus described the life that comes when we are free from ties to things, fame, riches and other Externals:

Who after this has any power over me? How should they have it? For he that can be subjected by man must, long before, let himself be subjected by things. He, therefore, whom neither pleasure nor pain, nor fame nor riches, can get the better of, and who is able, whenever he thinks fit, to spit his whole body into his tormentor’s face and depart from life, whose slave can he ever be? To whom is he subject?

So what is the Sphere of Choice when it comes to Weight Loss?

The most important things you can control in your weight loss journey are your thoughts and your actions. This is what you have control over every single day. You can control what you put in your mouth, but you cannot control what your body does with the calories, protein, fat and carbohydrates. You can control how many times you lift the weight, but you cannot “make” your muscles grow or “make” your fat go away. You can control how you react to the trials, but oftentimes not the trials themselves.

This should absolutely should impact how you set goals for yourself on this new journey for yourself. I mean, it’s natural to set a weight related goal. Everyone does this at first, including me. But the best thing you can do for yourself is to set up internal goals within your sphere of concern, namely your attitude and mindset.

The goal of a stoic is to maintain his or her tranquility. Tranquility comes from not feeling losses. Let me give you an example.

Countless times before this last attempt, I had tried to lose weight. Always to make someone love me. Or because I got scared from someone else’s health struggle. Or because a doctor told me I should. Or because I saw someone with abs and wanted it.

Externals.

What happened? The person would go away or lose interest in me and I’d lose motivation. The person would get better. I’d forget about the doctor and his recommendation. And I’d fall off the wagon.

It was when I wanted it for myself that this thing finally stuck. I’m not healthy for anyone but me. Sure, my beautiful daughters are able to enjoy me in greater measure. So many people treat me differently. I am more successful professional largely due to increased energy and stamina. I can be more active. Those things are external. If I tied my motivation to those things, what would happen if I lost one of them or they were disrupted? The loss of that passion could result in a weight gain. You have to be like Walt.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUJci5RWsqE]

Besides the Lightsabers

Stoicism like everything else is a daily practice. The stoic learns by daily practice to develop courage, self control and tranquility. Today, I can honestly say that there isn’t a person or thing that controls my emotions or behavior. It is incredibly liberating. My actions are restrained and maintained by my integrity and character alone. My goals are internal and behavior based. It’s the reason I’ll be able to say that I’m 4 years Sugar and “Cheat Meal” Free in November.

Food used to be my security blanket. Today my blanket is my Inner Citadel: My knowledge and ability to like Viktor Frankl to choose my attitude in any given set of circumstances. I am not perfect. I lose my cool sometimes. Once in a while, I will look on a pizza with lust in my heart. But with practice I will get better.

And so can you. Join me?

Let’s focus on the Sphere of Concern individually. Together.