Motivation Monday people, I sincerely hope you had a great weekend. So, today I want to talk about being too hard on yourself.
We are all on a journey, and we all have our own unique set of struggles. Some it might be a physical one, others it might be mental. Or it could be a combination of them both. And when our struggles impede progress, we can be very hard on ourselves.
Just one small warning, there is some talk about self-harm below. If that is a sensitive subject to you, please read with caution.
I
don’t know about you guys, but I can be ultra hard on myself. When I fail a lift. When I have to ask my boss for help with some code. When I Forget to do a chore. I can really be harsh with myself. Some of you who know me a little bit more might know exactly how hard I can be on myself. For those that don’t, I struggled for a long time with self harm. I don’t like using the past tense, because I feel like much like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic, some who harms themselves will always be like that. It’s been a while since I’ve “relapsed,” though. But specifics are not something I’m not ready to get into. Needless to say, therapy helped. If you are struggling like I was, please go talk to someone. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. It takes strength to do that. You are not weak for needing help, you are strong for recognizing that you need it.
I’m not here to make this pretty. I’m here to make it real. So, how do I stay positive when I am struggling? I try and focus on the little things. The little wins. I might not have made this pr, but I made one last week. Sure I could be struggling with this piece of code, but just the other day, I found a solution that my boss didn’t even see. I might have forgotten to do that chore, but I will do it now, it’s not the end of the world.
Another thing that can help is meditation. Even something quick. Close your eyes, Take 2-5 deep, slow breathes and Clear your mind. Stop thinking about it.
Finally, find your happy space, hopefully soon after you realize this problem. Whether that happy place is running, or curling up with a good book, or playing a video game, or watching wedding shows. Take a little bit as soon as you can for a half hour or so, and go to your place. Try and make sure it’s something that not destructive. Your happy place shouldn’t be something like the bottom of a bottle of wine, or an empty pack of cigarettes, or god forbid a sharp object. It shouldn’t just bring you short term happiness, or short term relief, but long term happiness.
These three things have helped me immensely in getting everything back into perspective. It doesn’t always fully help, but they never hurt either. Thank you for your time. And if you are struggling with depression, please seek help. You aren’t alone.
David Jasmin is a formerly obese 25 year old male. After failing to lose weight several times, David and his wife buckled down and lost a combined total of 185 pounds. David is a Software Engineer in the Boston area, enjoys comic books, video games, Magic: The Gathering, reading and all sorts of sedentary activities. He recently added lifting weights and running to his list of activities he likes. He still not so secretly loves food. You can follow his life on instagram 
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