Tips Of The Scale listener Lillian Ellis has invited us along on her weight loss journey.
This is her kickoff session: history, starting point, and the plan!
“If you do not like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change how you think about it.”
“I want someone to look at me and say, ‘Because of you, I didn’t give up.’ “
Weight Gain Background and Contributing Factors
Lillian lost her mother when she was four years old. She was raised by her grandparents and, looking back now, believes they showed their love for her with food.
For her own part, Lillian reflects on using food to fill a void as well.
“Me, mentally as a child: ‘I’ve lost something, and I’m replacing it with something else…’ It’s like a protection barrier, a wall, and it just kept growing.”
Lillian reached a peak weight of 453 pounds. (205.9 kg)
How Being Overweight Impacted Lillian’s Life
Lillian recalls the unhappy experiences she had growing up overweight. She was teased, made fun of, and eventually became “numb” to the remarks and treatment.
Lillian often found excuses to miss gym class in order to avoid embarrassment, and shares that dating was out of the question, as most boys just wanted to be friends.
When Lillian entered college, she had reached the 300’s. (over 136 kg)
She describes how everyday things, like riding a bicycle or climbing out of a parked car, became difficult and discouraging. She began to dislike attention and social situations.
Past Attempts at Weight Loss
Lillian has tried many things to lose weight in the past. She tried “metabolism-boosting” pills, Weight Watchers, starving herself, and even liquid diets before she learned that drinks could have as many (or more) calories than many foods.
She opens up about trying a program of injections. She lost 128 pounds (58 kg) in 5 months, but re-gained it all within approximately 1 month of stopping the program.
“Without the education of knowing how to maintain that, after you’ve lost it… as soon as I stopped it, I gained it all back.”
Lillian finally decided to have lap-band surgery.
“It didn’t work. It was lots of money… all these things I did at the time felt like a quick & easy way out.”
One of the issues Lillian continued struggling with was drinking liquids that contained calories. For individuals with these habits, lap-band surgery did nothing to solve the root problem.
She was disappointed and felt like giving up.
“My biggest challenge is the mental aspect… I wasn’t mentally there.”
Getting Started
In the past, Lillian has avoided physical activity when working to lose weight.
“I made myself believe that I couldn’t do it. I had every excuse in the book for… why I couldn’t just walk.”
In addition to changing her approach to include more activity, Lillian shares that she has done a lot of mental work over the past year to become more mindful of her emotions and decision-making.
Lillian opens up about some of the deep internal struggles she has begun to face. One of the scariest issues is how making lifestyle changes for herself will impact some aspects of her personal life.
“Subconsciously, I was fighting that. I didn’t want that… because I knew, and I still know… it’s my fear that my life is going to change when that happens. When you’re a larger person, you tend to settle for things that happen in your life.”
To remain positive and true to herself, Lillian reminds herself that any potential changes in her life may bring happiness and bigger possibilities than she can currently imagine.
“You don’t realize you’re doing it sometimes, that you’re sabotaging yourself.”
Planning Ahead for Challenges
Lillian’s biggest challenge has been her eating habits. She is aware that she often doesn’t eat enough during the day, and is educating herself on how to better plan for meals and snacks.
Tip: pair protein with your fruit! Lillian pairs almonds with apples.
Another challenge for Lillian is social drinking. While alcohol has been helpful in calming her anxiety so she can go out and socialize, Lillian knows that those are liquid calories she doesn’t need to be consuming when losing weight.
“I need to realize that I don’t need that alcohol to feel comfortable. I need to learn to feel comfortable in myself.”
Lillian is working hard on self-love so that she feels more comfortable with herself and doesn’t feel the temptation to change herself in social situations. She is spending less time worrying about what people think of her.
“What do I really know? I have no clue what they’re thinking… of me. It’s all me, and that’s the work ahead, is working on those negative thoughts that I build on my own.”
Current State
June 2013
Weight: 453 pounds (205.9 kg)
Bodyfat: [unknown]
End of May 2014
Weight: 357 pounds (162 kg)
Bodyfat: [unknown]
Lillian has lost 96 pounds (43.6 kg) over the past year. She does not have a “goal weight”, as she prefers to focus on her successful progress thus far instead of dwelling on what she has not accomplished yet. This keeps her positive and energized to continue moving forward.
Lillian’s Plan
When confronted with a tempting food in social situations, Lillian has created a “3-Bite Rule” to help her decide what to do:
- First bite: to satisfy and quiet the urge.
- Second bite: to analyze and savor the flavor.
- Third bite: “Okay, I’ve had my fill.”
This will help Lillian from feeling deprived, and allow her to practice and strengthen her self-discipline, while still working towards her health goals.
She also feels that it’s better (for her) not to tell people in her personal life what she is doing. If she is having an off-day, she does not want to deal with comments from people who question her actions, because that will only add to the stress and negativity that she is already working to defeat in that situation.
Lillian will exercise six days a week, for 30 minutes at a time – or for an hour if the activity is walking.
She also plans to keep an electronic journal to log her food throughout the day, to review what she’s learned in the past week, and to plan for the upcoming week.
Lillian has identified two people to be her sources of support that she can reach out to for encouragement and feedback when needed.
On Lillian’s Workout Playlist
- Work B***h by Britney Spears [ Amazon / iTunes ]
- Brave by Sara Bareilles [ Amazon / iTunes ]
- Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys [ Amazon / iTunes ]
Support Lillian!
We’ll check back in with Lillian in approximately 4-6 weeks. Leave your thoughts and feedback below!
Update: Lillian’s follow-up is here.
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